You say in your meditation instructions, "Look into the middle of what you see," but I have trouble seeing the middle.

    Middle means what? Just explain. What do you mean by middle? What do you understand at least?

I don't know what the middle is, because l, if I think of middle visually like with my eyes, then I think of my eyes and...

    I always say don't think of the flesh or bones of the eyes or forehead.

When I don't think of the eyes then there's just a vast field.

    Yes, in front you see some vast darkness. When you close your eyes you see darkness. And darkness is a wide expanse. The middle does not mean middle point.

Oh.

    You see. So I have been telling you just that much area (Master cups His hands to indicate a space 6-8 inches in front of Him), that much, not one point. You cannot stay on one point. But you can stay within that area. You see. This is what is meant by the middle. The middle
does not mean a point. You follow me now?

Yes.

When I have meditated and I lay down to sleep then I get more light than when I, uh, when I am in meditation.

    You know why? While lying down you fully relax. That's all. If when sitting you also fully relax, you'll have the same. While sitting you must have some tension somewhere; you are not fully relaxed. If when you are a little on the way, and you lie down fully, you'll have more.

But when one is lying, there is no concentration.

    You are not to think of the body, flesh or bones of the head or body. You have to develop, whether lying or sitting or anything, you see some darkness in front of you. You are thinking, you are lying, you are conscious of the body, then how can you find? You have just to fix your gaze outside, not in the body. Whether you're lying--in front, or sitting--also in front. Do you follow? No! I'm not talking Greek. Very clear thing. You see. When you close your eyes, you see darkness in front of you, whether you are sitting or lying -- in front.

If you're aware of your gaze and not aware of your body, it won't matter whether you lie or sit.

Yes. (pause) You are finding your meditations a bit better now? Do you?

Good.

    Yes.

You said don't be emotional when you feel something begin to happen, but I don't seem to have any control. And I find that the breathing while I'm not conscious of making it involved, if I begin to feel this feeling coming around me which I suppose is withdrawal, immediately I become very conscious of the breathing and it's heavy, and I lose the whole thing. Is there any way I can prevent myself from becoming conscious of the breathing?

    Didn't I tell you, you are to fix your gaze outside? Outside; not anywhere in the body. This is the point. (after pause:) Do any of you find Master's form now and then? Hands up. One, two. Very little. Are there any of you visualizing Master's form?

Sometimes.

    Don't do it. Don't do it.

When you say to think of the Master, in order to think of You sometimes I think of seeing you for a second.

    That's your own grace, you see. Praying is all right. Pray. Pray; then sit. That's all right. Yes.

Does having Your photographs support this habit of visualizing or can it be of good value having one or two photos like that?

    Keep photographs just as you keep of your friends. Not for visualizing.

Just as a bridge for remembering.

    Yes. Don't you keep the photo of whom you love with you? But you are not visualizing. You cannot visualize one who is above your reach, higher. You simply see some of the turban, some of the beard, sometimes one hand, the arms, like that. You will at once be able to visualize those who are up to your level or below you.

You said that many times, Master, yet when in meditation, I want to think of You, I see You so clearly, but usually it is if at some time I had seen You personally; I remembered it. But very clearly.

    That's all right. You see, if... there's a piece of glass and you put a veil behind it, then you can see your face. If you are overflowing with love of your Master, naturally that will come. But the glass alone won't do anything. You will see the picture placed behind the glass. To visualize of your own self is dangerous. Why? Suppose you visualize somebody who is not what he is supposed to be. Then you'll feel the effect. Sometimes at the time of initiation, man gets Master's form from the very outset. Visualizing yourself is of your own make, but if by sweet remembrance His form comes up, that's all right. That is not visualizing. That only shows you have banks of love behind the glass.

I have on two occasions upon awakening from sleep seen Your face very clearly and I think that was not visualizing at all.

    No. That comes from within; that's all right.

Very clearly.

    That's all right. Sometimes the Master will come in open daylight, sit down, and dictate to you. You put it in writing. This is a fact, you see. [Master now tells about a disciple who advanced within so much so that Master appeared to him and dictated a book, but he disclaimed the Master and formed his own gurudom.] His further progress is retarded. He misused it. So a man should never think himself sufficient. It is only by God's Will a man is given.
    One night Master came to Lahore where I used to conduct Satsang. He gave initiation to some people. After initiation was over, He told me, "Well, look here, Kirpal Singh, I have planted saplings--you water them, you water them." I told Him, "Master, whatever water you send through... I'll give it." Pipes remain cold so long as the water is running through them, otherwise they are dried up. This attitude saves you. So those who assert like that lose it. Which is easier: to shake off the dark veil or to put it on again? To put it on again is easier rather than shaking it off, you see.